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Keep 'em Separated

Posted on 04/13/07 in Relationships by Matt

A friend of mine recently mentioned that she'd started seeing someone new and he apparently could set his own schedule at work.  In other words, he was free to see her anytime he pleased.  When you start seeing someone new you usually want to spend lots of time around them;  they're a new squeaky toy that you want to hug and squish until its eyes bug out and it stops squeaking.  My advice?  Take it easy.   Give each other space - especially when you're just starting out.  No one wants to be smothered right off the bat and you'll find their company much more enjoyable if you take it in small doses at first.  You only get one honeymoon phase, you might as well make it last as long as you can.

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13 Comments

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  • MsJennifer wrote on 13/4/07:
    Dammit! I have that song stuck in my head now!!!
  • Tap wrote on 13/4/07:
    This is the absolute truth. People tend to think that they need to spend as much time as possible together or else connection will fizzle. This is wrong! Ride the wave, not the tsunami.
  • Tap wrote on 13/4/07:
    *the connection that is

    Doh!
  • GeekGrrrl68 wrote on 13/4/07:
    I guess we all need to remember to pace ourselves. It's not the end of the world if you don't see each other every single day. :-)
  • StarShine wrote on 13/4/07:
    I love the Offspring... but, anyway -

    there's wisdom in these words. I agree with you. I think it's also just a healthiness factor. If you have your own life, full of your own activities, then you are healthy. If you sit around day after day, staring at the phone or the computer screen... well, you just aren't in the right state of mind to get into a relationship. Common sense, in a sense.
  • Taloan wrote on 14/4/07:
    Wow, that really spoke to me. It said: you smother people, leave them alone.
  • MsJennifer wrote on 15/4/07:
    It's difficult to miss someone if you are never apart from them. Missing someone creates a bond, a desire, a purpose that you can't have without space.

    Additionally, it's healthy for people in a relationship to have different interests outside of the relationship. It's nice that you both love to go to the movies or on hikes, but it's also good to go seperate ways so she can have lunch with her girlfriends while you golf with your buddies. This way you can have talks with other people about how great he or she is and remind yourself of just how lucky you are... or aren't. =) It's HEALTHY!
  • perla99 wrote on 15/4/07:
    Trrrrrrrue. What worked in the past was seeing the guy twice a week, minimal phone calls (cuz I'm phonephobic), and talks on msn. That seemed to fuel the passion when we did see each other ;)
  • holypimpercrombie wrote on 28/4/07:
    She smells good, he spends time with her. He buys her things to show he is thinking about her though he may not see her. Guys should reserve that right to personal space even in cases like this. I'm watching the NFL Draft today and I don't want to be around my girlfriend. I took her to see Berlin last night, that's that. Sure she loves football and we have tons in common but social interaction is necessary not applicable to specific gender.

    Your friend does sound unemployed though.
  • arleowe wrote on 24/7/07:
    Well if a guy told me he did that I would be very freaked out and probably cut off all connnections. My experience has showed be it is better to become friends first but being that I am single still I probably am wrong.
  • Seringa wrote on 5/8/07:
    Hey, Hey, Come out and Play! hahahaha....just kidding.

    ~Abscence makes the heart grow fonder~
  • tattoozonme wrote on 15/9/07:
    lol i like the sqeaky toy thing that is funny way to put it but it is very true...hey thank for the FreeAppDating site i've meet alot of cool poeple on here
  • just mary wrote on 1/10/07:
    Some seek a white knight

    To sweep them off their feet

    Some seek a wolf

    Protective and fleet

    I seek a bard

    To woo me with words

    To use them like swords

    To find my hearts chords

    To put my heart together

    With words like forever

    Would that not be clever