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Mistakes to Avoid When Messaging Someone OnlinePosted on 06/13/2007 in Dating Tips by Matt
Thanks to Taloan for contributing this list of mistakes to avoid when messaging someone online. Her tone is a bit cynical, but I think she speaks from experience :)
- Simply writing: “ur hot”- Compliments are great when included in a letter, but when the compliment is the letter there is definitely something lacking. If a girl is attractive she’s probably heard it all before, so think up something original to add, not something that’s going to bore and most likely annoy her.
- Poor Spelling- Your spelling doesn’t have to be perfect, but at least spell out the whole word. I don’t want to spend half an hour trying to figure out that ‘roflshiuom’ stands for ‘rolling on the floor laughing so hard I urinate on myself’.
- Punctuation- There is nothing quite like receiving a three page run-on sentence to make me decide someone is an idiot. It takes a mere second to add a period to a sentence, but it makes all the difference in the world to the clarity of your letter. They are there for a reason, use them! On the other hand, don’t go too far in the opposite direction. A dozen miscellaneous punctuation at the end of a sentence isn’t going to add any more emphasis to what you are saying.
- Getting too personal too fast- I know all about myself, I don’t need a letter restating what I’ve already said in my profile and telling me how wonderful it all is. Tell me about yourself, make it interesting! You need to convince me that you are the kind of person I would want to write back to and you’re not going to do that without actually sharing some personal information. Just remember though, there is such a thing as too personal!
- Talking about sensitive subjects - Religion is a touchy subject, and, along with numerous other controversial topics, is not something you want to bring up in a first meeting. Even if my profile says I’m a Christian that doesn’t mean I want to receive a letter telling me Jesus loves me. I may have joined this site looking for love, but that was not what I had in mind.
- Trying to get a response out of pity- When someone writes to me pouring out their tale of woe without even the benefit of a first meeting it doesn’t make me feel sorry for them, it makes me wonder what’s wrong with them. If you send me a letter telling me how you have no family or friends, you lost your job and are now homeless and had to resort to eating your dog I’m just going to wonder what you are doing on the internet in the first place.
- Propositioning for sex- Unless I specifically state on my profile that is exactly what I am looking for, a letter suggesting an “intimate encounter” is only going to offend me.
- Reading too much into my profile- Don’t try and analyze my profile. Profiles do not do justice to a person’s personality, people are far too complex to be summarized in a small blurb. When I get a letter from someone claiming to be my soul mate from what they’ve learned about me in a one paragraph profile it simply leads me to believe they are a very shallow person.
- Claiming to be the perfect guy- I want to decide for myself whether someone is the perfect guy for me, being told by him that he is simply isn’t good enough. You can’t force feelings on someone. As much as you may feel its true they’re going to decide that for themselves and there is nothing you can say that can convince them otherwise.
- You obviously didn’t read my profile - Nothing is more annoying than receiving a letter filled with questions I’ve already answered in my profile. If you have an honest interest in getting to know me, read what I wrote down. Its there for a reason and may prompt some genuine questions about what I’ve said.