Wow, bar mirrors really do make you look pale!

I am sorry for your experience, Galahad, but to take that PERSONAL experience and put it on EVERY single parent is wrong. My mother married a drunk. Then she married an abuser. She raised me and my sisters alone. Aside from poor taste in men (and we ALL have issues and problems -- we're all mortal), she was an exceptional mother. I can honestly say that if it weren't for her I would be dead by now.

Your mom, my mom. Same situation. Different people. Don't umbrella people.



Oh, OH! I have a date with my 11-year-old tonight after work to get stuff for her new cat.!

Truly, honestly, and deeply, I agree with this. I came in here with much to say, but you already said it. Thank-you.

Here, here!

God doesn't need ya to yell for Him, MorningSong. Take it down a few notches, plzthnx.



Shriiiimpppp....

Niiice! Agreed, too. And the same for nice girls. We suck at the game.

Fusswhinegripewhinefuss. B*tchwhinemoancomplain.

That ^^ is to myself as well, by the way. Nice EVERYONES finish last cuz the majority of people don't know what they want, and the easiest way to figure it out is to screw others over.

I do... and he has 4 sisters. Just glad I have only one boy!

Thank-you.

OK, OK, I'll be BACK on Monday. No internet at home and I don't work F - Su.

And KymmieSue, I totally agree. Many kids in the past have been spanked. MOST of them haven't been traumatized by it. Instead, they learned to respect their elders, and the spankings stopped at as certain age. Abuse is when it crosses the line and becomes beating for no purpose and with no regard to the child's safety or well-being.

I dunno Wacky... I'd say you like a few million years old.

Thank you GOALLTHEWAY. I'll be here till Monday.



Not judging here, but was that a lie?

Winx, time-outs don't work for my son. A 4-year-old boy isn't gonna sit there till you tell him to get up no matter how well you explain your reasoning. That was my point. Every child needs something different to understand.

Kids who don't learn that there are consequences to their actions grow up to be adults who don't care that there are consequences. My children are all very different. One of mine reacts to grounding. Another reacts best to being spanked. When I was a kid I got spanked and I have to this day never been in any kind of physical fight. Every kid needs a different kind of punishment. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let my kids grow up as spoiled tyrants who think the world owes them everything on a silver platter.

And by the way, a spanking is an open-handed whack on the bottom until the kid realizes it hurts then STOPPING. Anything more is abuse, IMHO.

As far as I know passing a law telling someone they can't smoke in their own home isn't happening, but most states now have made it illegal to smoke in public buildings and it's definatley not a good idea to smoke with a kid in a car... especially with asthma. I have asthma and that is akin to child abuse, IMHO.

Kareoke queen

I can understand that. I don't have your physical limitations, but I do have 5 children whom I have to be honest about, as well, and they can be just as much of a challenge when it comes to dating.

We all have something. That is both our curse and our salvation.

Honestly, Hellboy, in the end it has a LOT to do with how well you get along with each-other. Looks do matter, but they can easily be augmented with personality if that personality clicks with you. Same can be said of "issues", of any kind.

What I mean to say is, enjoy life as well as you can, be happy, don't ***** and whine all the time about your particular issues (even if they can be more difficult than others'), and be a good friend, and she'll come along.

I was seperated from my ex two years ago. Until that point I was a stay-at-home mom. For 11 and a half years. Last year, when my kids had a nanny and I left the house before they woke up and was so tired by the time I got home that I had no energy left for them, was very hard on all of us. My kids were used to being with me. I was used to being with them. I didn't know their teachers, I didn't know their homework, I didn't even know what they ate for lunch. I felt awful.

I instituted a "night with mommy" where each of my kids had an hour after the others went to bed (from 8 to 9 pm), one night a week to spend one on one time with me. It works most nights (last night I was too tired and told my daughter we would do something on Saturday together to make up for it -- key there is followthrough. She wasn't upset because I had done the same for her big sister last weekend and saw I was good to my word) , and I use it even now because the kids love it as do I. But this year I arranged payment for my kids to come to the private school where I teach. Last night we had a pep rally where I was a silly cheerleader with a couple other teachers. Seeing my kids in the crowd, wearing school colors like me and screaming with the others... that almost made me cry. Being WITH them. It's more of a blessing than I can even explain.

My heart goes out to all single parents who are not as fortunate as I. Bless you all.

See, that's not at all my experience. That was my point. They have to follow through with calls in the chance that a child is being harmed. I give kudos for that. But they do NOT assume you are a bad parent. They want you to be a good parent, not only for the kids' sakes, but for theirs. It's easier for them to write off a case than to follow through with legal action. Now, maybe CPS where you are is bad, but where I am they take everything into account. Once, when my elder two girls were little, they took off while I was asleep in the morning, looking for Daddy's job. CPS interviened when a lady from a nearby store found them on the street, my then 2-year-old (now 10), with her diaper trailing along her ankles.

CPS came to my house WITH my kids, after a cop came and checked to see that my home wasn't a meth lab (it was a mess but he said it was the best place he's seen all day. When I said that was sad he said "you have no idea. You don't have booze, drugs, porn, rotten food, dirty diapers on the ceiling etc. Your place is great" ). I explained that I had been up all night with my newborn baby (Joei, now 7), and slept in because of it. They showed me how to lock my door so the kids couldn't get out.

The end.

That, by the way, is the only official recored I have with CPS. All else is dumb people calling for dumb reasons and CPS recognizes that.

According to my state, they can stay home alone at 9 and can babysit siblings for an hour at 10. 12 is babysitting age here.

But that is tit for tat. I wouldn't let my 6-year-old wait alone at a bus stop either. It bothered me that my daughter was let out to run free in kindergarden after school. They go to my school now (I teach at a private school), and I am much happier with their safety.

Spanking is, for me, a last resort, but it IS a resort. I agree wholeheartedly with the originator of this thread that parents should be free to be parents without being afraid of CPS. I have had a few experiences with CPS because of family members calling them (they had vendettas, let's not get into it), and every one of mine has been positive. CPS isn't out to destroy families; their primnary concern is for children who are truly being abused. Their primary problem is stupids who call them for dumb reasons. Now, on my record they have a note that says I have family members who call and to disregard. This, of course, is after a few years of them watching me and my household to be sure that the calls were bogus, which I appreciate because it means that they do their job for children who ARE being hurt, but they have never even mentioned taking my kids away from me. Don't be afraid of CPS. They really do want you to be with your children.

And in washington, at least, spanking is legal. It is considered punishment, not abuse. It's when it follows into beating that it crosses the line, in the law's eyes as well as my own.