***BREAKING NEWS**** Internet News Today is reporting that a clinical trial on the efficacy of Viagra and Cialis has determined that it is the throwing of a football through a swinging tire and NOT the pills themselves which lead to fuller erections.

I originally came to this site for these reasons:

1) This is the only site my wife and I could agree upon for dating other married people.

2) I enjoy soft porn courtesy of the Amazing Muriel.

3) I covet free legal advice from a guy named GorillaKilla who displays a pic of a midget and a gnome giving each other a tuggie.

4) I bought the rights to my profile on ebay.

5) I was looking for a site called JustStayHigh but accidentally misspelled the URL in my browser 'cuz I was stoned.

I stayed for these reasons:

1) The internet is a great way to meet people who have more issues than I.

2) I need to practice stalking where there is little threat of official intervention so that I won't make a fool of myself chasing Kate Beckinsale at Mardi Gras.

3) Some of you people are nuts and this site is cheaper than Lifetime Movie Network.

4) Mutual Match is a great way to gauge my sexuality through the eyes of a 61-year-old, bearded, female recluse in Estonia.

5) I can write off the square footage in my office as a tax deduction since I spend so much time here no IRS agent would argue this is NOT my profession.

ROCK ON PEOPLE .... CB / VP of Ops - New Thread


Your ex-husband made a huge mistake. Care to find out why my ex-wife did likewise?

Okay then, the great experiment begins. This is a trial profile for me, so this little discourse will be brief considering I generally have issues keeping quiet outside of funerals. I enjoy humor and MUST find a woman who finds laughter in the smallest of things. I am also seeking a woman of intelligence and marginal beauty at the least. Personality flaws are acceptable, provided I have tangible proof you won't execute my rabbit a la Glenn Close. I cannot change the oil in your car; so don't even ask. However, I will cook your favorite meal from scratch as I look hot in an apron covered in assorted condiments. Feel free to ask anything you'd like; I will answer every email I receive. I call this strategy "COURTESY." More people should endeavor to experiment with this lifestyle as it has served mankind well for millions of years. Finally, let's try to be ourselves. We all add value to the lives of others and a great relationship is built upon equilibrium. I won't force you to endure my rationale for trading Peyton Manning in fantasy football if you promise not to make me posture a guess as to whether or not your jeans make you look like Aretha Franklin at Mardi Gras.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHAT, "FRIEND" ME; but please note that I like my menu of friends to be divisible by 3s so the columns align (kidding). Additionally, if you are going to "friend" me, please try to do a better job of spelling. It's my pet peeve. The interweb is laden with illiteracy and I'm trying to fix it - one profile at a time. FUN!!!